Goodbyes Are Hard
by Jayden Breeze
Summary: ...but they have to come sooner or later. (Rated T for single-use of the 'F' word.)


Disclaimer: _Rugrats/All Grown Up!_ is the sole property of Klasky-Csupo, Inc., and Nickelodeon. I, in no way, make any claims of ownership

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The service had been over for an hour already but he couldn't find it in his heart to leave his best friend alone before he was laid to rest. He watched for the entire hour as the groundskeepers went to work, tossing pat after pat of dirt onto the baby blue casket. He loved baby blue; he wouldn't be caught dead wearing at least_ something_ with baby blue in it: a tie, a shirt, a pair of white sneakers with baby blue laces. He even wore a full baby blue outfit for his wedding: the tuxedo, the cufflinks, the dress shirt and vest, even the tacky alligator shoes left everyone cracking the joke that he just needed to dye his carrot red hair blue to complete the evolution into a North Carolina Tar Heels superfan, despite the fact that they lived all the way in Southern California. So it was only fitting that they burying him in his favorite color.

'_The weatherman lied again,_' Tommy thought to himself as he stood in front of the now complete gravesite, a fresh patch of disturbed dirt in an otherwise beautiful field, despite what the cemetery stood for. He remembered the weatherman saying something about it was going to rain today, but currently there was nothing but a bunch of cool air blowing his hair about in the clear blue sky. Was it a sign that things were going to be better? Maybe, but he wished it actually did rain so that his tears would be masked. Then again, he always was the second-most emotional one in the group, so it wouldn't be out of place for everyone to see him cry. But his tears were worth almost nothing to the ones Chaz had wept.

Chaz. The man had been left in a near vegetative state when he left the hospital room as the doctors pronounced the last thing to remind him of Melinda dead. The last week was then filled with simple mutters of "Sures" or "Nos" as everyone else tried their best to give the best send off possible.

The breaking point still came. The processional had started and the moment he and Kira stepped to the casket, seeing his son's serene face minus his glasses and a wide smile, the dam broke. Chaz had broken down, yelling and screaming with tears flowing from the broken man. First, his wife; now his only son. The funeral stood still for minutes, no one moving to let the father finally mourn. Kira and Kimi stood by his side the entire 5 minutes Chaz sat the altar to let every single emotion out until he had exhausted his tear ducts and finally took his seat. Shirley and Marvin were inconsolable as well, losing their oldest grandson. All of their parents wept as well for their 'brother' Chaz, since Chuckie had been such a fixture in their lives that they considered him a son.

The service was beautiful, of course. Angelica and Lil decorated the church and made it a funeral fit for a king, knowing that despite it being too much, he would appreciate it anyway. Susie, in the middle of being on a small-venue tour with Emica, came back to sing for the service and despite almost breaking down in the middle of the song, still sung beautifully. Pangborn, now superintendent, retired a jersey number just for him, despite only being the manager of the wrestling team, and their entire graduating class raised enough money to pay off half of the costs of the funeral, the other half paid off by the rest of the families. And Mr. Carmichael, now an executive producer for the still-strong running Dummi Bears, gave Chaz the news that there would be a new character in the show named after Chuckie.

The eulogy was still a struggle. Tommy had spent the entire week working on something befitting to send his best friend off, but it was tough putting his feelings onto a sheet of paper. How could you just sum up the result of 24 years of being not just the best of friends, but family? They had been through everything together: the birthdays, the breakups, the fights, the makeups. Hell, he was married It was hard to try and distill that down to a few minutes. They weren't just brothers in name, they were brothers by bond.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Kimi, eyes burning red from crying and a worried look on her face. From the corner of his eyes, he found the entire gang standing behind him: Phil stood with Lil, her veil peeled back as Phil held his nephew Charlie in his arms, the newborn almost a spitting image of his father and mother, tufts of red hair sticking out like the twins' used to when they were babies. Beside her stood the freshly engaged Angelica and Harold, the two having finally decided to jump the broom after Harold's persistence finally paid off and the two started dating a couple of years ago. Dil stood in front, dressed to impress but the classic Sherpa hat still attached to his head after all these years. Suzie herself hung beside the twins, still dabbing at tears.

"I'd say I'm OK, but…" Tommy released an uneven breath as he turned back to the gravestone, "I'd be lying." He fell to a knee, placing a hand on the stone: a simple white marble slab with black markings.

_Charles Crandall "Chuckie" Finster III_

_February 17, 1989 - December 22, 2014_

He sniffled, his head drifting over to the gravestone next to Chuckie's, also bearing the Finster name, but wider and meant for two people. Melinda's name was engraved on the far right, while the left side was bare, but waiting for Chaz to eventually be laid to rest beside his first love. It was only right, Kira and Chaz agreed, for him to be lain next to his mother.

"25 years old." Tommy simply stated, staring back at Chuckie's name. "25…that's barely getting off the ground. That's not a life lived." He ran a finger across the dash in between the dates, shuddering a little as he tried to form the words. 'This dash, right here…that's now his biography. And it feels like it isn't enough. He was gonna be a great teacher…better than any teacher we had. He was so happy about teaching part-time at school next year, he called me the moment he got the news."

"_I can make a difference, Tommy. I can impact someone's life. That's all I've wanted to do, and now I've got a shot at it."_

"He had so much potential. And he's not here to reach it." Tommy started choking up, a tear rolling down his face. "Cancer's such a fucking bitch."

He felt Kimi hugging him, a short sob coming from her. "It's not your fault, Tommy," she spoke.

"T…" Dil started, the younger brother rubbing his shoulder, "It's gonna be alright, man."

"No, Dil…it won't. Not yet anyway." He sighed. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you left."

"We couldn't leave him alone with just you." Angelica said, a sad smile on her face. "The scaredy cat probably wouldn't feel safe unless we all stayed."

A smile crossed his face, the usual venom from Angelica's voice not present in her barb. "No, it sounds to me like you actually care, Angelica." Susie playfully jested.

"Please…me? Care for that carrot-topped nerd?" A few seconds passed before she spoke again, "Yeah, I loved the dweeb. He was a better cousin than you two losers."

"Hey!" Tommy and Dil spoke up, taking offense.

"You babies," Angelica spoke, a playful tone in her voice as she touched the gravestone. "Hey, Finster. I know I wasn't that much of a good friend, but you never kicked me when I was down. You always were the better person. I appreciate that." She brought a hand to her lips and kissed it, blowing it to the stone and smiling. "See you in the funny pages, kiddo." She walked back over to Harold, who squeezed her tightly. "Aw, who knew you actually could be nice?"

"Aw, can it, Harry." Angelica spoke, a smile still on her face as Harold kissed her cheek.

"Hey, Chuck." Susie spoke next, a flower in her hands. "I know it's been a while, but you know I couldn't come back without at least saying goodbye. Edwin and Buster would be here, but they couldn't take a day off, but their spirits are with you. And my dad's going to make sure the people remember you too." She placed the flower in the dirt and stepped away. "Goodbye, Chuck."

Phil handed Charlie off to Tommy as he knelt next to the patch of dirt, rubbing his hands together. "You were like a big brother to me, man. Even when I got kicked out of school, you let me stay with you and Lil and helped me get back on my feet. You put your foot in my ass and pushed me to do better." Phil sniffed, rubbing his nose as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a small booklet, the insignia of Hampton Community College on it, and set it on the dirt. "Well, I did it, bro. Thanks to you. I'll get my bachelor's and finish what you set out to do. And I'm gonna take care of Charlie and make sure he remembers his dad." He rubbed the headstone and stood back up. "I love you, man." He then made his way back to the others, taking Charlie from Tommy and met the others in a small hug.

Kimi stepped up next, kneeling down and making sure not to get her dress dirty. "I never thought that having a big brother would be so awesome," she began, her voice immediately breaking, "Until our parents got married. I remember you being super protective of me and making sure that I never got into too much trouble. I always thought that you were being annoying but…you were just looking out for me. You had a responsibility, and you weren't going to let me, Mom and Dad down. And you lived up to it. And-and I never got to say "Thanks." So thanks, Chuckie. Thanks for keeping me safe. Just watch over us...wherever you ate." She kissed the gravestone, lingering for a moment before she stood to join the others as Dil took her place.

"I'm gonna keep it short and sweet, Chuckster." Dil choked out. "You were the greatest friend a guy can have. I know me and T are blood brothers, but you were the first Pickle brother before I came along. And you always stood up for me, even if you had to deal with the more…eccentric parts of me. I'm gonna miss you, bro. I love you." Dil stood, taking off his hat and saluted before placing the hat back on his head and joining the others, leaving Tommy and Lil to stand by themselves.

"From the cradle." Tommy started, "That's how far back we go, man…from the cradle. I've done just about everything with you. Even if you didn't feel comfortable doing it, you never left me hanging. I could always come to you and tell you everything, and you never judged me for it. You supported me in everything, more than my own family. And now…" He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, a tear brimming from his eyes. "I don't have that anymore. I won't have you in my ear screaming at me to stop myself doing something stupid. I'm not gonna spend half a day prying you away from working on a paper for a week and a half anymore. I can't hang outside with you in the cold to be the first people to get a video game at midnight. I'm not gonna have you with me at the Young Directors Showcase next week. I've lost my best friend. But…I'm gonna keep my promise…I know you'd kill me if I didn't at least do that. I'll watch Chaz and Kira. Phil and I will take care of Lil and Charlie. And I'll keep Kimi safe. I know you'd really kill me if I let her get hurt."

He paused for a second as he stood up, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small silk box, "Uh, hey…Lil. I know this is the worst possible time, but…Chuckie knew you really had your heart set on a big wedding instead of that little town hall ceremony you two had. So…I think he'd want you to have this."

Lil choked up, nodding as she took the box and opening it, revealing a wide-banded ring with a beautiful two-carat stone sitting in the middle. There was an inscription inside the band, she saw, and brought it up to eye level and chuckled as she read, "My Little Heartworm." It was an inside joke the two of them shared, a little miscommunication between them that became her pet name. A sad smile came across her face as she slid the ring on, then sobbed gently as she fell to the gravestone and kissed the top of it. "Thank you, baby. It's gonna be hell without you. But, I love you. I always will."

Tommy felt a small slug come from the right of him and turned towards Phil, who had a playful smirk on his face. "That's for making my sister cry, Pickles."

The purple-haired young man simply smiled back as he and Phil clasped hands and pulled each other in for a hug, patting each other's back. Tommy pulled away, turning towards the sleeping Charlie on Phil's shoulder and ruffling his head as Lil came up and took her son from her twin brother's shoulder, giving Tommy a hug with a small "Thank you" before walking back with him to the others. "You ready?" Kimi asked, wrapping an arm around Tommy's waist.

Tommy shook his head, looking back at the gravestone once more, and for the faintest moment, he swore he could see _him_ waving, smiling brightly. Tommy smiled back, turning towards Kimi and placing a kiss in her hair. "Not really, but…when are we ever?"

Kimi smiled and held on tighter to Tommy as the two walked back to the others, the entire group huddled together and the sun shining a little bit brighter as they left the cemetary, one last thought on their minds:

"_We love you, Chuckie."_

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Author's Notes:

I know, this isn't really the best, but it was my way of at least dedicating something to one of my favorite childhood characters. Thanks for reading anyway.

_**R.I.P. Christine Cavanaugh**_

_**1963-2014**_


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